133 days ago

3 days ago was in Perth, always wanted to fly away from all the problems that I’m facing the previous semester, its was a bad semester I should say, from the day that I arrived (2nd August 2004) things begin to happen 2 me, I wouldn’t want 2 say out what had happened to me for the past 4 months when I was in Perth, it was really bad that at one point I thought of commit suicide. I remembered, at that time I phoned a friend of mine back in Malaysia and told X that I really want to die, why the hell all the big problems come to me!!! Why am I facing all these problems, and why can’t it get better??? Back home in M’sia, my friends didn’t concern or help me out but they criticize of my thinking at that time and said that im a very problematic person. How the hell u control your emotions and feelings at that stage? Look at it if you’re in my shoe. Another point, which a doctor prescribes me Lexapro escitalopram, medication for depression and obsessive compulsive disorder OCD, not many people knows that I was in a state of depression and that doc gave me that medicine. How will feel when some people make jokes or fun out of that? At last I refuse to take that medication. Those are the least problem that I faced.

I flew back to Malaysia on the 20th November 2004, no 1 pick me from the airport, my family was back from Europe earlier that day, so I took a limo back. Worried that things will happen back home, wing hol messaged me, while im on my way . It was raining that afternoon, hoped that everything will be fine.